I really like how you added the links to your story to make it interesting. It is a very interesting story even after reading just a little bit i was intrigued! But you still need pictures and a google map. Other than that I really liked it!
Jen: This looks great! I suggest breaking the text up even more. The first page is quite long - you want to strive for short, scannable text. I would break after the first paragraph (just before answering the phone) and before the last paragraph (end of conversation), at the least, putting each on a separate blog post. Let the blog structure convey narrative and build tension. I would do a similar thing to the other pages. Beyond that, the text is great and the two endings are wonderful. Now, work in images and map. I can imagine both contextual images - Stansbury, etc. - or possible just everyday objects, e.g. the car, the note, etc.
2 comments:
I really like how you added the links to your story to make it interesting. It is a very interesting story even after reading just a little bit i was intrigued! But you still need pictures and a google map. Other than that I really liked it!
Jen: This looks great! I suggest breaking the text up even more. The first page is quite long - you want to strive for short, scannable text. I would break after the first paragraph (just before answering the phone) and before the last paragraph (end of conversation), at the least, putting each on a separate blog post. Let the blog structure convey narrative and build tension. I would do a similar thing to the other pages. Beyond that, the text is great and the two endings are wonderful. Now, work in images and map. I can imagine both contextual images - Stansbury, etc. - or possible just everyday objects, e.g. the car, the note, etc.
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